Friday, 13 July 2012

Things I say over and over again in the Clinic - OR - things the Clinic has brought up - OR - A Friday rant.

  1. You are obsessed with your pores. They do not open and close like doors. You say they are HUGE - then send me a picture and I can SEE NOTHING.
    We CANNOT see your pores. The only person that can see your pores close-up is your opthamologist - or your boyfriend. Your opthamologist is looking at your eyes. Not your pores. And if your boyfriend is thisclosetoyou and notices your pores? He's gay. Or not attracted to you. Or at best, rude. Rethink the entire relationship.
  2. You overuse the Clarisonic. A lot of you. A LOT of you. You can use it - you're just not meant to use it every time you brush your frigging teeth.
    Step away from the trendy facial tool and wash your bloody face properly.
  3. Nothing good ever came from scrubbing your face with a peach kernel. There's a reason they are 99p. Step away.
  4. In general, foaming is what you want Fairy Liquid to do. Not your cleanser. And to the brands: I am unapologetic. 
  5. Freckles are cute. At any age. You will do damage to your skin trying to get rid of them. Leave them alone. Embrace them.
  6. Stress is the key to most flare-ups, whether they are acne, rosacea or eczema. Practise relaxation. And not in some hippy-dippy way. Seriously. See the bigger picture. Chill.
  7. Inflammation is the root of all evil. Eat less sugar, take more fish oil supplements. A lot of fish supplements.
  8. Natural doesn't mean you won't react. Essential oils are one of the biggest triggers for skin.
  9. 'Dupes' belong in makeup and nail varnish. There is no 'dupe' for a high quality, years-of-research-behind-it skincare product.
  10. Spend your money on supplements, skincare, foundation and concealer and scrimp on the rest. You will look fabulous.
  11. If you would spend more on shoes, handbags, lipstick, jeans or fashion in general than you would on high quality skincare - you will be a sixty year old woman (and man) with a vintage wardrobe and a face like an alligator.
Well this has been enjoyable. Same time next week?

103 comments:

  1. lol Love it x

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    1. I want to be YOU when I grow up, Caroline! not an alligator;)

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  2. Replies
    1. Trust me - I was being polite. :)

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  3. Your rants are the best there is. End of. :D

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  4. love it!

    This is why I read your blog.

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  5. I love your brutal honesty. LOVE.

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  6. Just wanted to leave you a note saying that ever since I started taking fish oil, my "bacne" has been going away, and I'm amazed. My facial acne has started to slowly clear up, too. Will keep you posted! Thanks so much, Caroline!

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  7. Lol, my clarisonic is out!

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    Replies
    1. You can use it - just not as often as you brush your teeth!

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    2. So about 2 times a week will be good? what do you think?:)

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  8. haha I love this post, had to giggle at the alligator face, but o so true! x

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  9. Lady Hirons, you are my favourite deity.
    Preach it sister!

    p.s how the eff was Hirons not already in my phone's dictionary? Hirons*saved

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  10. Caroline you rock and so does your blog. Geeta

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  11. Priceless!!!!!!
    Read all your past posts, and they answer it all.
    Keep up the good work, you are brilliant.

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  12. Chloe Elizabeth14 July 2012 at 16:07

    Love this and could see it coming - Have noticed a lot of comments on pores even since your cheat sheet, maybe highlight it before every clinic, HERE CHEAT SHEET READ IT BEFORE YOU WRITE ! :)

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  13. Hi Caroline and other commenters,

    Ive just discovered your blog and, you're an angel for answering all those questions about skin problems. My skin care product wishlist is now getting longer and longer.
    Btw, I am from Malaysia, hot humid sunny country and would like to purchase products by Emma Hardie, Alpha-H, Pai, Ren, Darphin and Caudalie(I know I can get this in France). Most online shops don't do delivery to Malaysia and I don't know which shop is reliable. Fortunately, I'm going to Paris soon for two weeks and this is the closest I can get myself to UK. Any suggestion on where I can get my hands on these products in Paris? Or can you recommend any reputable online shops that does prompt delivery to France?

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  14. Lol this made me laugh, but also brought up some GREAT points. I hear so many people saying how they've replaced every face washing, morning and night, with using the Clarisonic. Definitely too much, in my opinion. And I've also been surprised to read on many sites that people commonly will use an abrasive physical scrub WITH their Clarisonic. Good God, that's like sandblasting your skin off! Always makes me cringe in horror.

    And yes, it's easy for people with large pores (me included) to become obsessed about it, but youre right--I don't notice it on other people, so I just have to assume they do the same.

    That's also funny you bring up stress-related facial issues. I've been going through a break-up and suddenly, my face became 100 times more oily than it usually is, plus I had some major scaly dry spots around my nose, cheeks, and upper lip and also breakouts plus redness/irritation/sensitivity. It was NOT a good week, to say the least. It's always so easy to forget how much stress truly does effect you physically.

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    1. REALLY badly - stress and sugar - the killers. Thank you for taking the time to comment. :)

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  15. ProductObsessed15 July 2012 at 15:05

    Caroline, you are an absolute gem! Loving your work :0)

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  16. So true all of these love it. Love your blog so frank and true it's brilliant

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  17. haha this made me smile.

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  18. Hahaha! You are hilarious Mrs Hirons! I'm a hardcore fan of the clinic and appart from having used your clinic-services myself, I have been reading every comment and every reply of yours. What you do is REALLY REALLY important!

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  19. My day would not be complete without visiting your blog and checking if you have new post. :)

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    Replies
    1. Thank you - sorry I don't post more often!

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  20. Nos. 10 and 11 - 'nuff said!

    Ali

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  21. Absolutely loved this. Thanks Caroline x

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  22. I cannot believe i have only just discovered your blog i love it! excellent and simple advice :) xx

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  23. I can't believe I missed this cheat sheet! No need to say that I loved it - you're hilarious, woman!
    Vera xx

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  24. I found your website a while ago but it somehow got lost in my book marks!
    Having found it again...
    Number 1 made me spit out my tea, and Number 11 is what I tell my friends all the time!

    I will look forward to catching up on everything else that I have clearly been missing out on :) xx

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  25. I could weep with joy at the clarasonic comment.

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  26. I've only just discovered you (I'm in Oz - via Pixiwoo) and just love your no-nonsense style. I had to read this to my housemate and declare undying love to you. You're like the Caitlin Moran cool feminist of skincare (that's a compliment). The best part is that everything you say really makes sense! Consider someone else converted. Thank you thank you thank you x

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  27. Hi, Caroline!
    I've just discovered your blog! I love it!
    Your advice are really great and logical. I have the same point of view but I'm really lost in this whole world of cosmetics.
    I have a hope that your blog will help me with all my skincare problems!

    Your new happy fan, Roxan

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  28. And if your boyfriend is thisclosetoyou and notices your pores? He's gay. Or not attracted to you. Or at best, rude. Rethink the entire relationship.

    i am literally rolling on the floor after reading these lines...lmaooooo!

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  29. Great advice! Just come across your blog and LOVE it!

    New fan!

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  30. Hi,

    I'm pregnant just wanted to know if you know of any fish oil supplements that I can take?

    Thanks in advance. :)

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    Replies
    1. You can take fish oil. Proven to be good for baby. Check with your GP that you don't have any contraindications x

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  31. This is amazing! I love the way you look at skin care and its so true! Looking after your skin is so much more important thank buying a new bag! Thank you! x

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  32. I have just started reading your blog and i must say i am hooked.I am so happy that i found you and now very excited to go shopping for my new skin care products. I cant believe i was so torturous to my skin *shakes my head in shame*

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  33. I have on request to make if you could tell me the best skin care products that i could buy in Canada as EH and other mentioned stuff is not available here :(

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  34. Thank you so much

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  35. fan-bloody-tastic!at last someone who says it like it is-no bullshite!!

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  36. yes more of the same next week please! xx

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  37. I may be a year behind but this was bloody hilarious! xx

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  38. I used St. Ives scrub as a teenager and one day a facialist told me I might as well just rub some gravel on my face. Never again...

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  39. Hi Caroline, long time listener first time caller.
    I've started using a pigment control treatment due to the fact I have a lot of hyperpigmentation around my mouth (from waxing my tash probably). Do you have any view on these type of treatments?

    You da bomb gurrl <3
    xx

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  40. Fabulous. This is the first post of yours i've read. I'm impressed with what you say. I completely agree and glad to hear it from another.

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  41. Haha, the last point was so very funny! Thank you for all the great advice!

    Your new fan,

    Simona

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  42. Hi Caroline!

    Okay, so I know you say over and over again that foaming cleansers should not be used. But I was just wondering why. Is it because of the sulphates that might be in the foaming cleansers?

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  43. I have read almost everything (I thought) on your blog. Just read this today and I'm still laughing my Butt off.... LOVE!!! Your the best!

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  44. do you use hydraluron at night?

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  45. This post is just perfect! Came to your blog via Pixiwoo and Essiebutton, now I know what I'll be doing for the rest of the weekend - inhaling your blog posts! Thanks! :)

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  46. I love your blog!!!

    btw, why is it bad to use clarisonics?? i thought they are better at cleansing your face than using hands?

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    Replies
    1. Using Clarisonic is not bad. Using Clarisonic TOO MUCH is bad. I think it is better to use it once or twice a week rather than once or twice everyday :)

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    2. Hi Anon,

      I hate the Clarisonic in general because I think it leads to broken capillaries and inflammation. Sorry Amber! :)

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    3. Hello, first I'm in love with your work

      But I wanted to know your opinion about the snail cream, this cream is supposed to make your scar and imperfection disappear, does this cream really work or is just commercial product ?

      And sorry for my bad English, my mother language is French.

      Have a nice day.

      Faelis

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  47. You have changed the way I look at and take care of my skin. Thank you so much. x

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  48. hahaha ...face like an alligator. tis true....so true.
    I am re reading some of your posts ;-)

    Diana

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  49. hahaha ...face like an alligator. tis true....so true.
    I am re reading some of your posts ;-)

    Diana

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  50. Ah ah, j'adore! You're really my kind of beauty guru!;)

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  51. "'Dupes' belong in makeup and nail varnish. There is no 'dupe' for a high quality, years-of-research-behind-it skincare product." There are "dupes" in medicine. Develloping drugs/medicine is expensive, and a few years later, when the patent/monopoly runs out, cheaper "dupes" pop up. They do the same, but cost less, because less money was spent on develloping them. You are basically just paying for the ingredients. Why is it so different in make up? I can understand that develloping drugs is more expensive than develloping make up, but it should not be impossible to find a 25 GBP dupe of a 35 GBP product, a few years after the initial launch. *curious*

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  52. You shall call me Badaldur when I'm in the bathroom9 July 2014 at 15:44

    Ok, this blog goes straight to my favorite bookmarks bar. This is fabulous.

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  53. You have summed up my beauty philosophy! Really this is the first blog I've read where everything makes perfect logical sense thank you!! I didn't know about the toners and you've made a pretty compelling argument.

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  54. Wow well this is the funniest and honest thing one has read in quite some time, I have been going round the bend with skincare, forever. I have tried many brands and nothing has really worked for me, my plan is now? I spent £100 on a bunch of essential oils and tools for home skincare stuff and really my skin has never been as bad. I have now decided to count my losses and try Elemis. I'm considering buying cleanser, toner, moisturiser, exfoliater and mask. You mention essential oils above, could you explain why there bad and is that what caused my breakdown (remembers splashing tea tree oil on face) and is Elemis a good brand because the above will cost £150+ and I can let go of the handbag I had been saving for if I know it will make my poor skin smile. Love this blog and you, thanks!! :)

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  55. Lol this is brilliant. Going to be my new 11 commandments ;)

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