Thursday, 15 August 2013

Trolls - and what actually matters.

Last night I was reading some comments below posts where I had been mentioned on other sites. There were a couple of not-so-nice comments which gave me about 5 minutes of 'How very dare they?' mini-rage. *flounce*

When I woke up this morning I had a long discussion with one of my best girlfriends about the funeral arrangements for Amica. Not to come over all melodramatic but there's nothing like a death to give you perspective.

So, my feelings on (and last discussion on this blog re) trolls:

To give you (trolls), however few of you, a platform on my blog - my space - where I spend hours, literally, trying to help people with their skin/health - in however a small way possible, seems to me to be disrespectful to the literally hundreds of people who very kindly contact me via all social channels (and in toilets) to let me know how much this blog has helped them. I have no intention of giving you more attention than them. This is my platform. And theirs. If you have constructive criticism I will always reply. If you just want to be negative about me, my appearance, my age - and especially my readers - there is no room for you here.

You are not important. To me. Or my readers. I hope you are important to someone else and treat them with the kindness, because I wish you nothing but kindness. But there is no room for you here. 

So, I will leave you instead with a picture of our beautiful friend - who will remind me daily of what is important.






56 comments:

  1. Scary to think she's gone. I never met her but could clearly see what a lovely person she was & her personality shone through on QVC & I've been watching for 10 years. My sympathies to you & all who knew her!

    As for .. Them haters gon' hate giving them attention is what they definitely feed on! Xxx

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  2. You've hit the nail on the head. Nothing else anyone could add to that.

    Sending love and hugs

    Leanne x

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  3. Well said caroline, I pity those that need to ridicule/put others down in any way! A very sad way to live! :(

    On another note; a MASSIVE THANK YOU to you for enlightening me on how to best look after my skin! :) I at 31 am very late to the game of skincare but with your help/ trawling your blog I am slowly trying to build a good skincare routine! You literally are my messiah for all things skin and you have inspired me to start my own blog, which gives me great personal satisfaction! :)

    So again thank you very much, ignore the trolls and carry on doing what you do best!!

    @clairecyraje / twitter
    www.clairejl82.blospot.com

    claire xoxo

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  4. No amount of skin care advice can stop them from being ugly.
    This is my first ever blog (on any site)and it is to say, your a legend, keep on trucking.
    My sympathy for the loss of your friend.
    X

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  5. Very well spoken. I have to say I found your blog 3 weeks ago - I just turned 50, have always followed a routine, bought good products, but have really struggled with my skin in the last year. With 2 product changes (exfolliating toner - Clarins, kate Sommerville goat milk cream), there was an AMAZING improvement in my face. My work colleagues and husband have notice, and I am slowly adding things that seem appropriate after pouring over all your comments on your clinics. THANKYOU so much. Looking forward to learning more from you over the months ahead.

    Maureen in Canada (I'm sending lots of new people to your blog!!)

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  6. So sorry about your friend, Caroline. Cancer is so cruel... Today is the two year anniversary of the death of my lovely step-mother, who also died of breast cancer.

    Re the bullies - you are exactly right! Bullies thrive and depend on attention, not only from their "victim" but also from their surrounding, or rather their "public". How pathetic... Ignore, or like I tell my kids to say "I can't hear you!!!"

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  7. I remember her! She was lovely and seemed so nice on QVC...God bless her. So sorry for her friends and family.

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  8. Nice sentiments Caroline

    haters back off! why even waste your time?

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  9. Despite the haters there's always all the wicked people who love what you do and are grateful for your advice. Me included - so THANKS x

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  10. May she rest in peace, so very sad. I had no idea x

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  11. Caroline, thank you so much for your blogs I've taken a lot of your advice and my skin has been looking better than ever. Love your blog!

    katespitz.blogspot.com

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  12. Well put, Lady H. There is nothing like a death to put things in perspective (having lost my Mum this year, new perspectives are popping up all over the place).

    Amica always seemed beautiful both inside and out -- a true inspiration as a woman.

    Sympathies to you, her friends and family.

    And know this -- your work, your passion, your knowledge and your humour are all appreciated by huge numbers of us, whose skin thanks you! Mo xx

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  13. Takes off imaginary hat and applauds the sentiments

    So very sad about Amica x me and my mum have watched QVC since day one. She seemed to be such a s
    funny, friendly person who always brightened up the screen when she appeared. Especially sad that her and Beaulah died so close together, and even sadder still the fact that her children are still so young. Mine and my mums deepest sympathy goes out to her family and friends xx

    From good people who've gone to people that seem to be rotten to the core, as my gran always used to say if you've got nothing nice to say then shut your trap, haters gonna hate I guess I feel sorry for them to be honest - getting their kicks out of being unpleasant, sad lives indeed xx

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  14. Bravo for your stance on The Trolls. Ignore them, don't feed them, that's want they won't. Sad, lovely people who are a patch on you. Thank you for your humour and advice, it's worked wonders on my nearly 44 year old face.

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  15. Well said. I cannot figure out why people want to be trolls. I pity them. I always wonder if there is a lack of love in their lives.

    My sympathies about your friend. (I have lost a great many to breast cancer and go to more funerals than anyone I know.)

    Thank you for all that you share with your readership. We appreciate it.

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  16. Forgot to add RIP Amica. Think her personality shines through in her eyes and smile. Something the Trolls will never have. Lots of love. J xxx

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  18. Well said Caroline. My thoughts on dealing with this kind of thing, annoying as it is, is that people are hateful to the exact degree in which they are suffering. Healthy, well-adjusted individuals do not troll and bait others. The sad thing is that there are an AWFUL lot of people in the world that live without love, and it shows up in this kind of behaviour. Compassion helps me deal with the undeniable irritation of it. It must be a pretty small life lived in this way.

    And finally, I didn't know Amica, but I'm so sorry for your loss and for her family's loss. Her spirit certainly did shine out of her face.

    Aly x

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    1. I love this comment. Too true.

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    2. I love this comment. Too true.

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  19. I am in total shock about Amica, I had no idea she was even ill. I've been watching her on QVC for years now and she always seemed so lovely.

    And just one comment Caroline - for every troll, there are 10x as many people who read and appreciate your blog but don't comment.

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  20. I just don't understand the bitterness. Especially HERE. This is like the Disneyland of skin and you are our glowing Snow White (with more experience and eyebrow....but still a completely positive and loving soul). What a complete waste of everybody's time.

    I'm very sorry to hear about your friend. It sounds like she was lovely and taken far too soon. Cancer is an asshole.

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  21. Caroline, you are brilliant. So brilliant that I actually figured out how to add your blog as a favourite just so I could access your words of wisdom in a more timely fashion- big effort from someone as IT backward as me (I should probably also thank you for inadvertently teaching me how to add a favourite) My skin and general appearance has changed SO much since I stumbled upon your now legendary interview with pixiwoo which now led me to your Bloody Brilliant Blog and I genuinely don't know how to thank you enough. You're wicked. So sorry about your friend, she indeed is beautiful.
    Sarah x

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  22. Caroline, I can not express to you how much you have positively impacted my life, quite literally. I will be 45 next month and have never had a more comprehensive lesson on how to wash my face and take care of my skin... in my entire life. I am so glad I found you and your blog. I even bought my sister a pack of 'flannels' from IKEA, a tub of Clinique 'Take the Day Off' Balm and the Clarins 'Brightening' toner and sent it off in a care package to Hawaii. I'm not the type of person to express my personal opinions about anything openly to family or friends... but I am telling everyone that I know about how you have personally changed my life! It sounds rather bold, but my skin has always been a problem for me, so I always wear foundation... everywhere :(, but after doing your washing and care regimen, my skin has improved 1000%, and now I go to work sometimes WITHOUT foundation :) I am so happy to finally expose my bare skin to the world! Thank you Caroline! I look forward to each and every blog post and hope you continue on and on and on with them despite the trolls. I LOVE YOU! Karen

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    1. Caroline I read some of those comments yday & it was all I could do not to jump down their throats in your defence.

      Your response has been so much more dignified. Kudos.

      Nic xx

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    2. That really touched me too. Lovely comment Karen.

      As for the trolls out there, Caroline knows she's shit hot, we know she's shit hot, so just er..... fuck off! xxx

      LOVE YOU MRS HIRONS! ;)

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  23. I don't understand those who take the time to hate on others. We all love you and your blog, Caroline. :)

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  24. Caroline,
    Bravo and well said.... I have no idea why these trolls feel the need to be so cruel and hurtful to people they don't know (and especially ones like you who are trying to do us all a good turn)...today is also the day of the funeral of Hannah Smith, who killed herself because of the online bullying she was getting. It breaks my heart that people can't just be nicer to each other or keep their mouths shut.
    Thank you for all that you do and say (I particuarly love and appreciate your honesty, which is a very rare thing in this industry). You can see from all the other comments, how much of an impact you've had on us and our skin! Ignore the haters, it's mainly ignorance and jealousy and who needs that in their lives??
    As for Amica, I too have been watching her for years on QVC and also had no idea she was so poorly. She seemed to me to be a genuinely beautiful person, in all the best ways, and I send my sympathies to you and her family & friends.
    Debbie

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  25. Don't even give the trolls 5 seconds of your time Caroline, you're better than that. Seriously!

    It's so sad about Amica. She was one of the best models on QVC, she will be greatly missed!

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  26. You have handled this so gracefully. I saw one comment that wasn't particularly nice on quite a big bloggers comment section about you and went into a little rage myself! How dare they do this to CAROLINE. Of all people!!!! Then i realised they were probably on-off bloggers with 2 followers with maybe one of those being regular readers and were probably just very jealous of you. I hope you are ok now but we all love you so don't listen to them!

    http://talisatalksbeauty.blogspot.co.uk/2013/08/birchbox-uk-august-2013.html

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  27. This is a brilliant post. You've said everything that needs to be said, yet not wasted any more words than necessary. Well said :)

    Sophie
    http://what-sophie-said.blogspot.co.uk/
    xxx

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  28. Caroline, so hear you about trolls on blogs and twitter. I have experienced this too.

    Well put. Geeta
    www.sopureskincare.co.uk

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  29. Oh my I remember Amica from OVC such a beautiful girl!. How tragic . Sorry to hear about this .

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  30. OH my I remember Amica from OVC such a beautiful girl. I am so sorry to hear about this. Sympathies to her family and friends.

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  31. Caroline, thank you so much for taking time out of your schedule to do this for us all... I love reading your blog and is the only blog I have actually taken something out of, so thank you for hydraluron and pixie glow tonic, they have really changed my skin for the good.

    Ignore the haters. Sorry to hear about your friend. Sympathies to her family and friends.

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  32. Caroline,
    You are beautiful, as was your friend.
    I am so sorry for your loss, condolences to you.
    ((Hugs))

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  33. Caroline, You are an inspiration to us all, not only do you give us great skin care advice, that make a visible difference to our skin, you are also giving us a valuable lesson on how to treat trolls, proving you have both inner and outer beauty:)

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  34. Brilliant, dignified response. My dad (the best dad in the world btw) always said "don't let the bastards get you down"! Very much a straight talker, not unlike yourself. Anyway, your just brillant and an oracle of information, We love you CH! Xx If you ever come across a nutty women throwing herself at your feet - that'll be me.

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  35. What a wonderfully positive post about one of the downsides of putting oneself out there online.

    The propagation of such venomous hate against someone who has done little more controversial than challenge the efficacy of beauty products - or in the case of Grace Dent - uncover the overcooked broccoli rackets and support the erasing of female role models from our bank notes.

    There are many bile-filled chauvinists out there hoping to put women in their place through violent hate campaigns. I think it's time for the female race to lay down the bitchy, sniping weapons aimed at each other and focus on halting this evil practice!

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    1. Completely agree Alexia, being an outspoken female on the internet (or any other medium really) seems to invite endless, horrific abuse. I'm glad that Stella Creasy and Caroline Criado-Perez have been brave enough to bring it further into the public eye. It is awful that women like Mary Beard get bomb and rape threats simply for daring to speak in public. Time to unite!

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  36. Everyone deserves kindness, and even if people are unable to be kind themselves, they should be ignored and not encouraged for their actions. People are not mean unless they have insecurities or problems. I just cannot imagine a truly happy person trying to bring someone else down.

    Saying that, I love your blog and have met so many people in weird corners of the internet who feel the same! You're a skincare god for so many!!

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  37. Hi Caroline People who post nasty negative thoughts are probably sad lonely people, don't give them any response they don't deserve it.I was so sorry to hear about Ameica would watch her on qvc always came across as a lovely warm person joyx

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  38. Hi Caroline,

    Don't listen to the trolls, you are brilliant! I have read your blog inside and out and really trust your opinion. I have never commented before but felt moved to this time. You have made such a big difference to many people - it may seem trivial but good skin can do so much for a person's confidence and self-esteem, and you write in a way that is refreshingly understandable and no-nonsense. What have these trolls done? They are likely sad, lonely people with too much time on their hands. If they feel the need to write such bile about strangers on the internet, you have to wonder what their motivation is. I know that one hurtful comment can seem to have more power than 20 positive ones but remember how many people think you are brilliant and have genuinely benefited from reading this blog. Ignore the trolls.

    I'm sorry for your loss, it is true that moments like these really bring home what is important in life.

    I.R. xxx

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  39. Im sorry for your loss -it seem like Heaven is in lack of Angels these days as so many are calls away

    I love your site and your meeting with wonderful amazing Nic and Sam on Body talk introduced me to your site. I was blown away! FINALLY someone who spoke their mind about REAL problems with skin and REAL authentic skincare.
    I purchased my EM Balm and travelkit and waited paitinetly and paid my customs and frigging VAT here in Norway-but it was SO worth the wait. I have a new love in my life. Thank you!

    And for the rest of the article about trolls my fav saying about that is always

    people who wants to drag your down are already below you

    Angels watch your path
    ~Lin

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  40. Some people will never have nice things to say, you have an army of people who think you and your advice is amazing. Thank you so much for taking the time to write your blog and share you knowledge. From me and my very grateful skin :) xxx

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  41. Huge fan! Keep up the great work. Thank you.

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  43. sorry if this comes up twice , im rubbish on the computer!!! but Caroline you have changed my skin and I want to say a big thankyou ! also I wish you had more photos up on here of you ! cos you have the lovliest face , wish I looked like you ! and like everyone else really sorry about your friend she was beautiful and I used to enjoy watching her on QVC x very shocked xxxx

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  44. wow caroline you have haters??????????? Ive always had great skin(sorry to be blowing my own trumpet) but YOU CAROLINE HIRONS have made my skin even more greater, so much so that I dont even use foundation no more and still get asked what base I use.WOW.YOU ARE AMAZING.FULL STOP.
    My condolences for your beautiful friend.
    MUCH LOVE
    XXX

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  45. I have read your blog for the last two years and the products you recommend have completely transformed my skin, and you do this as well as having a job, a family and other commitments. Can't believe that some people actually take the time to sit at a computer, write something horrible and personal about someone they have never met and think this is normal behaviour. As previous posters have said, it says much more about a lack of something in their personality/lives than it could ever say about those people they attack in such an anonymous, cowardly way. I really hope this doesn't put you of blogging, I love your blog and always look forward to reading your posts and recommendations

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  46. Those who can, do. Those who can't, become internet warriors preaching to fellow travellers. On the bright side, take pride that you've given them something to do to fill their time. If you didn't do that, they'd probably be out abusing pensioners or stealing candy from children.

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  47. I truly hope that these recent comments have made you realise how much you mean to us 'normal' folk! Shocked and saddened to hear the news about Amica, the photo you put up captures her beauty inside and out.

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  48. What sad news about Amica. She was one of my favourites on QVC - such a genuine and nice lady. How very very sad to lose a beautiful-inside-and-out person from this world.

    As for trolls, well, you have to hope karma will take care of them. Certainly don't let them affect your blood pressure. Pressing the 'delete' button can be very liberating. x

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  49. Very well said:-). I love your column and your honesty, you are so refreshing. I loved Amica on QVC and watched her amazing speech, she will have touched the hearts of so many. Take care :-) x

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