Fat. The 'F' word I've probably used more recently than any other. Yes, even that one.
Long story short, I turned 40, broke my coccyx, bought a car, stopped walking everywhere, exercise was too painful - and I put on weight. No sh*t Sherlock. That is something I am still - and always will have, to work on. The back won't heal and I love my car.
What I let slip though was saying the 'F' word in front of my daughter. Fat - not the other one. She's used to that one. (Judge away - I'm human).
Then I heard stories from my child about girls at school talking about their 'thigh gaps'. Young women seeing a gap at the top of their thighs as something to look up to. Or saying things like 'Oh God I wish I had a gap like you!' to girls who are naturally thin. And some of her friends would call themselves fat in my presence - and my heart would sink.
These are young, healthy, intelligent, insanely intelligent, beautiful young women, who we are bombarding - through social media, advertising, videos (don't get me started on the videos) with images of what 'society' thinks is attractive. See also: Disney films. Anyone else notice that the girls in Frozen look like Bratz dolls? Big eyes, no waists, perfect boobs, long flowing hair that looks like it's trapped in a wind tunnel like a bad Meatloaf video from the 80's?
Yes, they may be the 'heroine' of the movie, but they look like a cartoon version of what real girls look like. And I'm sick of it.
This house is now an 'F' word free zone. I'm turning the 'F' in 'fat' to 'Fabulous'. I can't take it anymore.
We are our own worst enemy. I am in the process of editing my first YouTube videos. The first thing I thought when I saw them was 'God. Fat.' And I very quickly thought of my daughter - and her friends - and stopped myself. We are so much more than our outside appearances and yet we are continuously, relentlessly, made to feel inferior because we are not one of the 10 women in the world that look like the 10 supermodels in the world.
Watch this from Amy Poehler - it's wonderful.
No more. I'm sticking with the other F word. Fuck it.