Every time I see someone on social media having a panic attack because they’re ‘almost 25’ or ‘OMG my last day in my 30s? I want to reach out and say ‘Please relax. PLEASE. I promise you it only gets better.’
I’m not saying this applies to everyone, or that not being 23/28/37 is a breeze, but it does bring a certain way of thinking that I, for one, didn’t perhaps grasp in my younger years. 🙂
- You no longer care what other people think. Genuinely. About you,
your politics, your religious views, your Kardashian TV choices, how you dress for the school run, nothing.
- This doesn’t give you free rein to behave badly or treat people any differently than you would like to be treated. This
doesn’t mean you don’t mind if people don’t like you, but you like to know their
reasons first before you decide if they just don’t ‘get’ you or if, actually, they have a
point and you have behaved a tad twatishly.
- You understand the importance of loyalty and backing
people up. Whether it’s work colleagues, relatives or your friends. You’ve got
their back. And they know it.
- The words ‘on trend’ mean absolutely nothing to
you. And this doesn’t concern you. You know how you like to dress and what
suits you, and if that has nothing to do with ‘trendy’ or ‘fashionable’ so be it.
- You know exactly how you like your hair and makeup.
And so does your hairdresser. You could give a rats-ass about
Coachella/Glastonbury ‘vibes’. See point 4.
- You can spot an asshole from a thousand paces.
Whether it’s a woman, man or politician. Your gut instinct has never been more
on point and you trust it more with each passing year.
- Rudeness is unacceptable and intolerable. ‘Please’ and ‘thank you’ are not options, they’re requirements. You’ve been known to bellow ‘You’re WELCOME’ after holding the door open for someone who forgot their manners in response.
- When younger people mention your age in a negative way you respond
with ‘I’m younger than Madonna, the Chili Peppers and everyone in Classic Rock
magazine so you can kiss my ass Happy Meal.’
- When you are out with your twenty-something sons, people look at you as if you are a cougar. You are unsure if you should be offended or not.
- You wouldn’t dream of reading a magazine with anything to do with ‘how to have a better sex life’ or ‘how to find the man for you’ on the cover. You know what you like and frankly, the man should come find you.
- If you want the cake, you’re going to eat the cake.
- You don’t count calories, you think: will this give
- The answer to No.12 is increasingly ‘yes.’
- You have learned that tearing down a person does
not make you a better one.
- You know that tearing down another person is a
sign that you still have work to do on yourself, it has nothing to do with the
- You stop putting yourself down. The dialogue in
your head is a confident one.
- You don’t pretend to know everything. You ask
questions and realise that this makes you inquisitive, not
- You know your own mind. It doesn’t bother you that
you don’t fit in with certain circles. That’s cool.
- You stop ‘putting up’ with things. Shitty
acquaintances, people that drain you, people that are rude, people that are
obnoxious. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
- You have no problem saying ‘No.’ ‘No.’ is a
complete sentence, not the beginning of a negotiation. (Editor’s note: you may have to leave the corporate world behind and start you own business if this happens before you’re 40. Just sayin’.)
- You have no problem teaching people how to treat
you. If they continue to be disrespectful you drop-kick them out of your life,
not worry for days about something you hypothetically did to upset them.
- You think that people who insist on leaving the house
on New Year’s Eve are borderline insane.
- You’re happy for other people, not jealous.
- You know the difference between jealousy and envy.
- You will go to the shops happily in no makeup and with
your hair in a wet bun but draw the line at slippers and/or pyjamas. Get a grip, put your clothes on.
- Telling the truth may be scary, but it is essential.
- You know that people only think Daniel Craig is
the best Bond because they didn’t grow up with Sean Connery.
- You have learned that towels, sheets and wine should
never be cheap.
- You realise that you still have so much to do, and that scares you a little bit.
- The people whose opinions of you actually matter is very small – and probably limited to people who would be at your deathbed. That’s not morbid. It’s the most freeing thing in the world.