Sunday, 26 April 2015

The best things about being in your 40s.

Every time I see someone on social media having a panic attack because they're 'almost 25' or 'OMG my last day in my 30s? I want to reach out and say 'Please relax. PLEASE. I promise you it only gets better.'

I'm not saying this applies to everyone, or that not being 23/28/37 is a breeze, but it does bring a certain way of thinking that I, for one, didn't perhaps grasp in my younger years. :)
  1. You no longer care what other people think. Genuinely. About you, your politics, your religious views, your Kardashian TV choices, how you dress for the school run, nothing. 
  2. This doesn't give you free rein to behave badly or treat people any differently than you would like to be treated. This doesn't mean you don't mind if people don't like you, but you like to know their reasons first before you decide if they just don't 'get' you or if, actually, they have a point and you have behaved a tad twatishly.
  3. You understand the importance of loyalty and backing people up. Whether it's work colleagues, relatives or your friends. You've got their back. And they know it.
  4. The words 'on trend' mean absolutely nothing to you. And this doesn't concern you. You know how you like to dress and what suits you, and if that has nothing to do with 'trendy' or 'fashionable' so be it.
  5. You know exactly how you like your hair and makeup. And so does your hairdresser. You could give a rats-ass about Coachella/Glastonbury 'vibes'. See point 4.
  6. You can spot an asshole from a thousand paces. Whether it's a woman, man or politician. Your gut instinct has never been more on point and you trust it more with each passing year.
  7. Rudeness is unacceptable and intolerable. 'Please' and 'thank you' are not options, they're requirements. You've been known to bellow 'You're WELCOME' after holding the door open for someone who forgot their manners in response. 
  8. When younger people mention your age in a negative way you respond with 'I'm younger than Madonna, the Chili Peppers and everyone in Classic Rock magazine so you can kiss my ass Happy Meal.'
  9. When you are out with your twenty-something sons, people look at you as if you are a cougar. You are unsure if you should be offended or not.
  10. You wouldn't dream of reading a magazine with anything to do with 'how to have a better sex life' or 'how to find the man for you' on the cover. You know what you like and frankly, the man should come find you.
  11. If you want the cake, you're going to eat the cake.
  12. You don't count calories, you think: will this give me indigestion?
  13. The answer to No.12 is increasingly 'yes.'
  14. You have learned that tearing down a person does not make you a better one.
  15. You know that tearing down another person is a sign that you still have work to do on yourself, it has nothing to do with the other person.
  16. You stop putting yourself down. The dialogue in your head is a confident one.
  17. You don't pretend to know everything. You ask questions and realise that this makes you inquisitive, not stupid.
  18. You know your own mind. It doesn't bother you that you don't fit in with certain circles. That's cool.
  19. You stop 'putting up' with things. Shitty acquaintances, people that drain you, people that are rude, people that are obnoxious. Ain't nobody got time for that.
  20. You have no problem saying 'No.' 'No.' is a complete sentence, not the beginning of a negotiation. (Editor's note: you may have to leave the corporate world behind and start you own business if this happens before you're 40. Just sayin'.)
  21. You have no problem teaching people how to treat you. If they continue to be disrespectful you drop-kick them out of your life, not worry for days about something you hypothetically did to upset them.
  22. You think that people who insist on leaving the house on New Year's Eve are borderline insane.
  23. You're happy for other people, not jealous.
  24. You know the difference between jealousy and envy.
  25. You will go to the shops happily in no makeup and with your hair in a wet bun but draw the line at slippers and/or pyjamas. Get a grip, put your clothes on.
  26. Telling the truth may be scary, but it is essential.
  27. You know that  people only think Daniel Craig is the best Bond because they didn't grow up with Sean Connery. 
  28. You have learned that towels, sheets and wine should never be cheap.
  29. You realise that you still have so much to do, and that scares you a little bit.
  30. The people whose opinions of you actually matter is very small - and probably limited to people who would be at your deathbed. That's not morbid. It's the most freeing thing in the world.

71 comments:

  1. Yes. Closing in on 40 and would never want to go back.

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  2. Thank you Caroline!!! I am in the throes of "the mean reds" (not a period reference- think Holly Golightly) after a week of "helpful" people telling me what I "should" be doing and judging my life choices against their own. I'm not yet 30 and this post reassures me that things can get better.

    As an aside, women need to stop judging each other. We need to support each other wholeheartedly. There are enough people out there tearing women down and judging us in a way men would never be judged.

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  3. You have learned that towels, sheets and wine should never be cheap: OH YES.

    Overall, a good summary - I am not there yet, but some of them I totally relate to. Especially, You have learned that towels, sheets and wine should never be cheap: OH YES. :)

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  4. I feel you with number 28. Katie x

    www.katiejaneonline.com

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  5. Love this post, especially as I just turned 41 a few months ago. #12 completely describes all my food choices lately! lol
    I definitely feel more confident in myself and my decisions then I ever did in my 20s or 30s.

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  6. Love. And agree with the majority (some I still aspire to!). x

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  7. From reading that I think that I am old-minded but not in a bad way. Being in my early 30's I recognize myself in most of these points. It truly makes me happy ^^

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  8. I'm a 17 year old boy Caroline, and I found this such an incredible and rewarding post to read, written beautifully and educational, even for me. THANK YOU SO MUCH for writing this. I genuinely hope that one day I will be this free from everything I hold now. I know I'll come back to this post again.

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    1. I wish you every success on your journey! Kick.ARSE!!! Xxx

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  9. Praise be Lady Hirons. Almost me to the letter. Pretty much got yourself into my 43 year old brain.

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  10. 20 was true, I had to start my business at 36 :-p

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  11. You have just written thirty of the most true words known to mankind. I say, "Amen" to every.single.one.of.them.

    And P.S.? I am waaaaaaay beyond forty, and I can assure you that the sooner that you realize the above thirty things, the sooner you can begin to live your *real* life.

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  12. I like 10 an 27 the most. So far everything has just gotten better.

    LindaLibraLoca: Beauty, Baby and Backpacking

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  13. Oh my god. I love it. You are so right it is exactly how I feel and think.

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  14. I related to many things you wrote and I completely agree. So now I don't know should I be happy or slightly worried because I think like I'm 40 but I'm actually only 23. This difference in how I think and how my peers think causes many problems for me.

    Love reading your blog :)

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    1. I think you should be happy because you'll live more of your life feeling much more contented! Don't let it be a problem.

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  15. Love. I'm 41 x

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  16. First time I've posted a reply on your blog Caroline, but I felt I must this time.

    Genius post. True as you enter your 40s and as you leave them.

    You give good life as well as good skin. Thank you.

    Louise

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  17. I am 36 this year and this is all so true!

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  18. I'm 38 and I'm happy to report that I have already picked up some of these habits! Being older is truly freeing!

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  19. Even happier now I'm in my fifties because I have an adorable grandson and thanks to following your advice I dont look old enough. Another bonus is .....as much as you love your kids to the moon and back......when they leave you have time and money to travel or do want you want to do again.

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  20. Should be true, but surprising how many people well beyond 40 still act like high school mean kids.

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  21. Hilarious... And so so true, though I'm afraid I'm finding it harder and harder to leave the house w/o mascara these days ;)

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  22. Thanks Caroline; seven and 29 all the time!

    I'm not there yet but it's only a few years away, I hope I'll muster the courage for 19 and 20 in the intervening period.

    X

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  23. Laughing wildly at no.9! So true. I'm so proud of my big, beautiful boy but completely freaked when we're out that it gets a double glance. Oh pleeeease ...

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  24. YES!! Number 7! If I hold open a door and they just waltz on through I give them a nice sarcadtic 'thank YOU'. I usually mumble it under my breath, I wish I had the confidence to shout it at them sometimes, especially when its a whole line of people and not one of them even acknowledge me.

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  25. Completely agree! And number 7: I've been there many times!
    Being in your 40 has many advantages, indeed, it's liberating, I couldn't care less of things that would trouble me in my 20s. Great post, and so true!
    Alina
    www.eclecticalu.blogspot.com

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  26. Many, many truths in that for me..except for the bit about Daniel Craig, he is my favourite Bond as he is more in the spirit of the books (and I fancy him something rotten!) and about saying "no" - I still can't do it, too damn polite to people so I still get taken for a mug on many occasions. The rest of it is perfectly true. I used to be scared about getting older (am 44 in a month) but now not so much, I have a lot left to do and in many ways I feel that my life is still only just beginning. But I am so turning into my nan, I hear myself speak to my son (12) and it is her voice I hear, her expressions etc - could be worse though, I could be hearing my mother - then I would really be in trouble.

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  27. #19 might be THE best thing about getting older/growing up. Waking up every day now thankful for this lesson!

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  28. 7, 22, and 27. Amen. Sean Connery will always be my Bond man. I'm almost 38, and not afraid of getting older.

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  29. This is terrifying but I'm 22 and can relate to most of the things on this list (number 9 aside, lol!) Not sure whether this means a) I'm hopelessly naïve and un-self-aware or b) my parents did a kick-ass job at instilling me with confidence, which is what most of the items on this list boil down to, essentially.

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  30. Is it bad that I'm only 27 but concur with this entire post?

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  31. Yes, yes, yes. One of the joys of maturing (even if I do still feel like a 20 year old).

    No. 19: OMG yes. No. 20: I have successfully adopted the 'yes/possibly, but not today' for corporate situations. It works a treat.

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  32. I'm turning 25 and needed to read this badly.
    You're the best!! xo

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  33. I love getting older and am proud of my age. I'm looking forward to 40. I think the only (truly, terribly) hard thing about getting older is that darn biological clock!

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  34. Loved this. Turned 34 recently and am enjoying ticking things off! While there are plenty of great things in your 20's (recovery time after a large night out, firm, plump skin, spending whole pays on clothes for the weekend etc) I would NEVER go back! Never!! One of the reasons I love your blog so much, I get a little annoyed and disheartened reading other beauty blogs sometimes and hearing things like, 'as I approach 21, I have started using eye cream as it's never too late to start', um yeah... Besides, I think women's faces hit their peak in their 30's, like hello cheekbones!! All my photos from my 20's I look like a little moon face!

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  35. As the saying goes " Life begins at forty".

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  36. This is fabulous and so true. I am approaching 38 and am looking forward to my 40's. Every year I move towards them brings more clarity of who and what I am and a sense of peace comes with that. Although a crucial part of my growing experience my 20's are not somewhere I would care to revisit. Great post!

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  37. Love this list! I'm only 20, but oddly enough, so much of this applies to me lol.

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  38. Nice list, 19. was definitely the one for me. So liberating, I feel light as a feather now!

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  39. I am getting there and for me there is one more - a super important - you know yourself and you fully accept/accknowledge it (does not mean you may wish to change certain things but then it is your conscious decision).
    thanks Lady Hirons !!!

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  40. Really great post. I think the "bullsh*t filter" definitely gets stronger and more finely tuned with age. I would say the only downsides to 40s are the time it takes to recover from a big night out and the odd eye rolling you get from 20somethings if you decide to go to a gig or a club. I think everyone needs to accept that one day they too will be in their 40s. Am hoping 50s are going to be even better

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  41. '22. You think that people who insist on leaving the house on New Year's Eve are borderline insane'

    I am 19 and I feel like this

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  42. A great post that I think applies to a lot of people no matter what their age. I am 36 and I couldn't care less about hitting 40. I say bring it on.

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  43. Love it!!!!!!! Im 46 and my 40s have been some of the best years of my life so........I feel like in my 40s I could be the person I truly wanted to be (if that makes any sense?) great post Caroline xx

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    1. Totally makes sense to me, and I agree.

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  44. Hello Caroline, I'm a new reader from Italy, and wanted to thank you for all your advices.
    I wanted to ask you if you ever tried the product of italian brand BAKEL (Beauty And Key ELements). Their product are a bit expensive, but they have only ingredients that really do something to our skin, they don't use perfumes and colourants.
    I'm not here to advertise things, but its simply a company near my home town, created by two lovely ladies, who put everything in this project.
    a big hug from italy :)

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  45. Brilliant post, I love how you tell it how it is. I'm turning 40 next month and agree with all of your points. Thanks for sharing.

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  46. Ha! It was my 41st on Saturday and so much of the above rings true. I have so much more self-confidence now than I've ever had. Great post!

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  47. I could not agree more with this list :) I recently started to apprecaite entering my 40s and wow, I'm loving it!

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  48. I'm 27 and mostly there on this list. Life can make us grow up much faster than we'd want. Hopefully by the time I get to 40 I'll be half the amazing woman that you are. I'll probably never be as witty and humorous as you are, but I still have room for improvement!

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  49. Could not have said it better! You nailed it!

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  50. I'm 35 and have noticed that the rudeness one (#7) is really starting to get to me. A girl (serving ice cream for heaven's sake) was very rude to my husband and I last night and I was beside myself. I told him as we drove off that I'm finding that nothing gets my ire up quite like that. There is just no excuse to be rude to people. The End.

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  51. Amen to all but 25!! I want my slap on even if I'm just sofa surfing for the day! I wasn't sure about my 40's just after I'd hit them, I had a couple of bad years, my health isn't great & I lost my Mum when I was 42 and I was convinced that whoever said life begins at 40 was a damn liar, but the further in I've gotten the more comfortable I feel. You put it so well Caroline that I'm sure you'll have people looking forward to their 40's after reading this!

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  52. And now I'm going to make it a point to learn all these things now in my 20's so I can get my game together 15-ish years in advance ;) thank you for sharing this list. It's all I want to be in life.

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  53. Yes, to all of it! (And thank you for getting "free rein" right. At 43 I shouldn't care but I do.)

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  54. Made me laugh - the 'Kardashian choices' thing and yes - there isn't enough time, so much I want to do/achieve and too much to cram in! Be good to see 'the best things about being in your 50s' post a few years down the line Caroline! x

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  55. Definitely the indigestion! I don't agree about the towels, sheets, wine - you can get some excellent value products these days and I would rather spend the money on skin care/make up!

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  56. I love this post. Well done.
    Turning 30 this year and it makes me laugh when my 20 something colleagues comment on getting old or I have wrinkles help. Roles eyes.
    Can I just say that at almost 30 I have achieved most of your points and yotakky agree with all of them.
    And yes I do leave the house with no makeup like today and love it. That said I have sunscreen on ha ha!!

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  57. I could not agree more! My 40s were the most wonderful time in my life. I felt my best, I looked my best and came to embrace my life and gifts fully. My 50s have been more challenging, but halfway through I find that I am having a hell of a good time. All of what you say above, only more so!

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  58. Brilliant post! #29 - oh so so true!

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  59. I'll be 28 in six weeks and most of these apply already. I've made some of thoses "choices" a few years ago, and it took reading your post to realise I am totally happy about what came out of it. So thank you :) Have a nice weekend!

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  60. So freaking bang on!! Hermaspottypants xx

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  61. Hello Caroline...I discovered you only a few months ago and have gone back to your very first blog and have read every single one up to this one and will catch up with your current post before the sun comes up tomorrow. This is my first every post/reply to any social media forum. This list to soooo true and number 27 should be shouted repeatedly. Love Daniel Craig but he ain't no Sean Connery. Depressingly when you mention Sean Connery some people have the nerve to ask "Who?" (heart stops...mouth a gap). LOVE your blog. Rock on!

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