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Cheat Sheet – Things I say over and over again in the Clinic – OR – things the Clinic has brought up – OR – A Friday rant.

  1. You are obsessed with your pores. They do not open and close like doors. You say they are HUGE – then send me a picture and I can SEE NOTHING.
    We CANNOT see your pores. The only person that can see your pores close-up is your opthamologist – or your boyfriend. Your opthamologist is looking at your eyes. Not your pores. And if your boyfriend is thisclosetoyou and notices your pores? He’s gay. Or not attracted to you. Or at best, rude. Rethink the entire relationship.
  2. You overuse the Clarisonic. A lot of you. A LOT of you. You can use it – you’re just not meant to use it every time you brush your frigging teeth.
    Step away from the trendy facial tool and just wash your face properly.
  3. Nothing good ever came from scrubbing your face with a peach kernel. There’s a reason they are 99p. Step away from St Ives.
  4. In general, foaming is what you want Fairy Liquid to do. Not your cleanser. And to the brands: please stop regurgitating the same formulas and recommending them to the same skins. Foaming is NOT best for acne.
  5. Freckles are cute. At any age. You will do damage to your skin trying to get rid of them. Leave them alone. Embrace them.
  6. Stress is the key to most flare-ups, whether they are acne, rosacea or eczema. Practice relaxation. And not in some hippy-dippy way. Seriously. See the bigger picture. Chill.
  7. Inflammation is the root of all evil. Eat less sugar, take more fish oil supplements. A lot of fish supplements.
  8. Natural doesn’t mean you won’t react. Essential oils can also be a trigger for some skin.
  9. ‘Dupes’ belong in makeup and nail varnish. There is no ‘dupe’ for a high quality, years-of-research-behind-it skincare product.
  10. Spend your money on supplements, skincare, foundation and concealer and scrimp on the rest. You will look fabulous.
  11. If you would spend more on shoes, handbags, lipstick, jeans or fashion in general than you would on high quality skincare – you will be a sixty year old woman (and man) with a vintage wardrobe and a face like an alligator.

Well this has been enjoyable. Same time next week?