Baby loss is a global issue with around 30,000,000 miscarriages each year, 2.6 million still births and 5.495 million neo-natal and early years losses.
I have four children, but I’ve had seven pregnancies. ‘I’m sorry, there’s no heartbeat’, is one of the nicer ways of being told that the pregnancy you had planned for is not progressing and you are leaving the scanning room a completely changed person.
My most recent miscarriage was last summer. If you look carefully during the Sali Hughes ‘In The Bathroom’ videos, I am very obviously showing, (I thought I was fully into peri-menopause and a bit bloated – I had no clue I was pregnant at the time) although I never told anyone outside of my nearest and dearest. I only mention it now because two of my closest friends have experienced miscarriages recently – and they were visibly relieved when I shared my numerous experiences. It shouldn’t be taboo.
It wasn’t a complete shock to me to find myself in that situation again, we’ve been there before. It’s never an easy situation to be in, but for me personally, I found it easier to handle this last time, having already had my other children to focus my energies on.
(Although it helped that I wasn’t put on a labour ward when I had to have the op this time.. Talk about psychological torture. Who in their right mind thinks ‘oh this woman just had to have an operation to have her pregnancy removed – I know – let’s put her next to the woman that just gave birth! It’s all the same thing!’)
Although the official figures for miscarriage are 1 in 4, my consultant last year told me that privately, she and her peers put the figure closer to 1 in 2. It happens a lot. The Mariposa Trust is a charity that supports anyone who has been affected by the loss of a child at any stage of pregnancy, at birth or in infancy.
There are four arms of the charity, dealing with miscarriage, supporting people through a subsequent pregnancy after a loss, and then rather uniquely, supporting people going through the IVF process and people trying to tackle the adoption process. They hold remembrance services for those that have suffered a loss, a nice change from simply hearing well-meaning people say things like ‘Oh well. At least you can get pregnant!’ and ‘Mother Nature always has a plan!’ (<– my particular favourite)
The Mariposa Trust are currently reaching in excess of 50,000 people a week internationally, and if you’ve experienced/are experiencing any of the above, you can find out more information here: